Some Kirby abilities that, well, pretty much have NO chance of ever actually being in one of the Kirby games.
Thump 'em with a Bible as Pope Kirby! Play the maracas as Mexican Kirby! Bust a cap in somebody's ass as Gangsta Kirby! Be pwned by more worthy characters as Sephiroth Kirby! Or even force teenagers to tuck in their shirts as the dreaded Mr. Higgins Kirby!
(You probably don't know who Mr. Higgins is, though, so that one probably doesn't make much sense to 99% of the people who'll see this...)